Here is a link to a letter from Abraham Lincoln to his brother-in-law: Lincoln Brother-in-Law Letter. Read it.
Lincoln's brother-in-law, Johnston, apparently continued asking Lincoln for the gift of money while facing hard times. Lincoln complied with this request at times, but eventually saw it created damage rather than hope and progress. As a result, Lincoln gave his brother-in-law the advice and offer found in the above letter.
Lincoln worked to serve his brother-in-law and teach him rather than enable him. I know I can take learn a lot from this situation.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
A Great Buy
Everyone commits stupid acts. I’ve heard such things called “Stupid Tax.” Not long ago I paid a bit of stupid tax.
My wife and chose to sell our truck and use the money from that sale to purchase a used car. After a bit of a roller coaster ride with months of effort we finally sold our truck. Now we were down to sharing one car while we searched for a great, reliable, economical car for around $5000.
I love finding a bargain so I took it upon myself to find the best deal out there. I began feverishly hunting for our new vehicle via classifieds, the internet, or any car with a used sign on it.
Finally I found a car that sounded great. It had low miles for what we were looking for, no accidents, power gadgets, and all the good stuff. It was one of those deals that seemed too good to be true.
It had just been posted online so the pressure was on. We needed to move quickly so this deal wouldn’t pass through our fingers. A call to the owner (David) revealed that he already received many inquiries of interest, but if we moved quickly we might be able to beat them. He was willing to meet at his work in an hour or so.
I called my wife and excitedly told her the good news. Since neither us of knew much about used cars, she suggested finding a friend with more knowledge to accompany us. That would take time. Didn’t she know this was a good deal? I reluctantly called a few friends who turned out to be unavailable. However, I armed myself with some quickly skimmed over articles of what to watch out for when purchasing a used vehicle.
Under my direction, we quickly rushed to a mall to meet this guy. On the way, I fleetingly thought, “Didn’t that article warn against meeting at a neutral place rather than the person’s house so if something comes up you know you can find the person again? Yeah, but the guy said he works at the mall; it’s fine.”
We arrived and called David’s cell phone while walking up to the mall doors. He didn’t pick up so I left a voice mail. A few minutes later he called on a different number laughing and saying he was already in the parking lot. I thought, “That’s a little strange he’s out there. Didn’t he say he worked near this entrance? How’d he slip by us? But this is a good deal we can’t pass up. Let’s go.”
David turned out to be a quick talker, but he was on break from work so that made sense. We gave the car a quick look over and test drive while David kept receiving calls from co-workers asking where he was. It was obviously past time for his break to be over; we must move quickly.
A half minute conversation between my wife and I (with the gracious permission of David’s patience) allowed us enough time to say things seemed good and that we would purchase the car. David excitedly accepted our $4950 in cash (which he previously explained we should bring with us), we rashly signed a couple things, and he walked off toward the mall with leaving us with the keys.
Wow. So we just bought a car. That was easier than I thought. Before David walked off, I quickly asked him (at the advice of a friend) for a seventy two hour “return” period if something big came up with the car. To my surprise, he graciously agreed without hesitation.
So away we went with our new car.
As I drove I began wondering at a couple noises I had failed to take note of in the test drive. That was all right though because I was going straight to the mechanic. (By the way, David had denied my request to visit the mechanic with the vehicle before purchase.)
I explained the situation to my mechanic, Danny, handed him the keys, and he drove off in our new beauty to further investigate the car’s condition. After waiting what seemed like an eternity, Danny asked me to come out into the shop so he could show me a couple things. The fist statement: “This car’s been in an accident.”
Accident? What? The guy told me that never had happened. It was recent? Are you sure he couldn’t have been mistaken? No? No.
That was the first punch in a series of fists where we found out David lied to us about several things. 50,000 miles rolled back. The year of the car. A door that refuses to open from the outside. A continued list of disappointments.
But that was all right because I still had seventy hours to give the car back. I called David and left him a message. I’m still waiting for him to return my call (and the many more I placed).
So I failed. I failed to research well. I failed to see so many signs of a bad deal. I failed to listen to my wife’s reservation and to truly connect with her in this situation. I failed to use my money wisely. I failed in many ways.
However, I also succeeded. I succeeded in uncovering an opportunity to learn. I was stupid and definitely paid my Stupid Tax. It could have been worse; at least the car ran and, according to Danny, should continue to run well despite the disappointments. Nonetheless, when I think back, I still cannot shake the feeling that someone hit me in the stomach with a sucker punch.
Sucker punched. This is a good feeling. Not because I enjoy pain, but because this pain teaches me.
I’m still driving my lemon around; partway proudly because it serves as a reminder that we all make mistakes. And even better, we can all learn from them.
My wife and chose to sell our truck and use the money from that sale to purchase a used car. After a bit of a roller coaster ride with months of effort we finally sold our truck. Now we were down to sharing one car while we searched for a great, reliable, economical car for around $5000.
I love finding a bargain so I took it upon myself to find the best deal out there. I began feverishly hunting for our new vehicle via classifieds, the internet, or any car with a used sign on it.
Finally I found a car that sounded great. It had low miles for what we were looking for, no accidents, power gadgets, and all the good stuff. It was one of those deals that seemed too good to be true.
It had just been posted online so the pressure was on. We needed to move quickly so this deal wouldn’t pass through our fingers. A call to the owner (David) revealed that he already received many inquiries of interest, but if we moved quickly we might be able to beat them. He was willing to meet at his work in an hour or so.
I called my wife and excitedly told her the good news. Since neither us of knew much about used cars, she suggested finding a friend with more knowledge to accompany us. That would take time. Didn’t she know this was a good deal? I reluctantly called a few friends who turned out to be unavailable. However, I armed myself with some quickly skimmed over articles of what to watch out for when purchasing a used vehicle.
Under my direction, we quickly rushed to a mall to meet this guy. On the way, I fleetingly thought, “Didn’t that article warn against meeting at a neutral place rather than the person’s house so if something comes up you know you can find the person again? Yeah, but the guy said he works at the mall; it’s fine.”
We arrived and called David’s cell phone while walking up to the mall doors. He didn’t pick up so I left a voice mail. A few minutes later he called on a different number laughing and saying he was already in the parking lot. I thought, “That’s a little strange he’s out there. Didn’t he say he worked near this entrance? How’d he slip by us? But this is a good deal we can’t pass up. Let’s go.”
David turned out to be a quick talker, but he was on break from work so that made sense. We gave the car a quick look over and test drive while David kept receiving calls from co-workers asking where he was. It was obviously past time for his break to be over; we must move quickly.
A half minute conversation between my wife and I (with the gracious permission of David’s patience) allowed us enough time to say things seemed good and that we would purchase the car. David excitedly accepted our $4950 in cash (which he previously explained we should bring with us), we rashly signed a couple things, and he walked off toward the mall with leaving us with the keys.
Wow. So we just bought a car. That was easier than I thought. Before David walked off, I quickly asked him (at the advice of a friend) for a seventy two hour “return” period if something big came up with the car. To my surprise, he graciously agreed without hesitation.
So away we went with our new car.
As I drove I began wondering at a couple noises I had failed to take note of in the test drive. That was all right though because I was going straight to the mechanic. (By the way, David had denied my request to visit the mechanic with the vehicle before purchase.)
I explained the situation to my mechanic, Danny, handed him the keys, and he drove off in our new beauty to further investigate the car’s condition. After waiting what seemed like an eternity, Danny asked me to come out into the shop so he could show me a couple things. The fist statement: “This car’s been in an accident.”
Accident? What? The guy told me that never had happened. It was recent? Are you sure he couldn’t have been mistaken? No? No.
That was the first punch in a series of fists where we found out David lied to us about several things. 50,000 miles rolled back. The year of the car. A door that refuses to open from the outside. A continued list of disappointments.
But that was all right because I still had seventy hours to give the car back. I called David and left him a message. I’m still waiting for him to return my call (and the many more I placed).
So I failed. I failed to research well. I failed to see so many signs of a bad deal. I failed to listen to my wife’s reservation and to truly connect with her in this situation. I failed to use my money wisely. I failed in many ways.
However, I also succeeded. I succeeded in uncovering an opportunity to learn. I was stupid and definitely paid my Stupid Tax. It could have been worse; at least the car ran and, according to Danny, should continue to run well despite the disappointments. Nonetheless, when I think back, I still cannot shake the feeling that someone hit me in the stomach with a sucker punch.
Sucker punched. This is a good feeling. Not because I enjoy pain, but because this pain teaches me.
I’m still driving my lemon around; partway proudly because it serves as a reminder that we all make mistakes. And even better, we can all learn from them.
Medical Emergency & Other Thoughts on Life
Recently while flying on an airplane I heard a frantic announcement over the PA system: “If there is a medical doctor on board this flight, please push your call button.” I saw a distinguished looking gentleman quickly rise from his seat and step into the isle. Instantly everyone on board felt a feeling in their stomach as if they had eaten a carton of spoiled yogurt.
I nervously glanced a few rows behind me to see a lady in her thirties breathing heavily through a red face. Ripples of panic and concern appeared through fellow travelers. I began hearing mutters along the lines of, “Oh man, now I’m going to arrive late.”
I must confess, that was my first thought. I’m going to arrive home late. How selfish is that? There is someone only feet away from me possibly dying, and I’m sitting here upset because inconvenience entered into my life. Selfish.
As I heard other travelers express their anger at inconvenience, I woke up from my selfish pity party and realized life is about more than me. Someone might die on this flight. Death.
My preoccupation with timeliness transformed to anger at myself and others for being selfish. It transformed into the question of what I could do to help out. Should I crowd in the isle around the person now lying on the floor? Probably not. Should I chide other passengers for their selfish comments? Not likely.
Pray. I chose to pray. At first I tried to say eloquent words to really get God’s attention in this emergency. But I just couldn’t. I was shaken up and had no idea how to pray. My prayer quickly became simply, “Jesus.” Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
In that one simple name repeated I found that my selfishness was relieved. I found that my fears were calmed. My inability to love was transformed to need. I found myself thankful. Thankful for life. Thankful for the opportunity to draw to God.
Our flight made a last minute emergency landing in Phoenix to get this woman off the plane and to medical help. Unfortunately, I don’t know what happened to her once she exited the plane. I wish I did. However, I do know that inconvenience had miraculously become opportunity.
I nervously glanced a few rows behind me to see a lady in her thirties breathing heavily through a red face. Ripples of panic and concern appeared through fellow travelers. I began hearing mutters along the lines of, “Oh man, now I’m going to arrive late.”
I must confess, that was my first thought. I’m going to arrive home late. How selfish is that? There is someone only feet away from me possibly dying, and I’m sitting here upset because inconvenience entered into my life. Selfish.
As I heard other travelers express their anger at inconvenience, I woke up from my selfish pity party and realized life is about more than me. Someone might die on this flight. Death.
My preoccupation with timeliness transformed to anger at myself and others for being selfish. It transformed into the question of what I could do to help out. Should I crowd in the isle around the person now lying on the floor? Probably not. Should I chide other passengers for their selfish comments? Not likely.
Pray. I chose to pray. At first I tried to say eloquent words to really get God’s attention in this emergency. But I just couldn’t. I was shaken up and had no idea how to pray. My prayer quickly became simply, “Jesus.” Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
In that one simple name repeated I found that my selfishness was relieved. I found that my fears were calmed. My inability to love was transformed to need. I found myself thankful. Thankful for life. Thankful for the opportunity to draw to God.
Our flight made a last minute emergency landing in Phoenix to get this woman off the plane and to medical help. Unfortunately, I don’t know what happened to her once she exited the plane. I wish I did. However, I do know that inconvenience had miraculously become opportunity.
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